Restless Spirits
by Mariah1711
Summary: Two teenagers fall in love; four boys who are more like brothers turn into men; three friends learn what friendship really means; a war engulfs them all. This is the story of restless spirits on an endless flight. The story of James, Lily, the Marauders from the beginning of Seventh Year until the very end.
1. The Sixth Summer

CHAPTER 1: THE SIXTH SUMMER

Sunshine filtered in through the windows of Lily Evans' bedroom on that warm August morning, in which she lay in peaceful slumber along with Hestia Jones and Marlene McKinnon. They had fallen asleep after a boozy night of Lily's favourite Muggle alcohol – tequila shots – and much girly gossip. The sunlight danced over the three girls – hair splayed out across the pillows: golden, mahogany and auburn.

Lily as usual was the first to awaken, and she sat up and took in her surroundings. Her room was a mess, empty glasses and magazines and chocolate wrappers were strewn over the floor along with Marls and Tia's clothing which was still piled up in the corners of Lily's room since they had returned from France. Lily leaned back against her pillows as she allowed herself a happy moment of reminiscing the past few weeks she had spent at Marlene's holiday home (mansion would be a more appropriate word) in the south of France. They had spent every day on the beach or by the pool sunning themselves and every evening travelling around the few quaint wizarding villages that were scattered around. It had really been the holiday of a lifetime – no cares or worries or exams to think about. Naturally, Marls had spent the holiday pining after Remus Lupin who had finally plucked up the courage and asked her out towards the end of their Sixth Year at Hogwarts, but this didn't stop her from having the most incredible time with Lily and Tia. If anything she was even happier, with that inner glow and contentment that only those in love seemed to have.

Lily looked fondly upon the two girls who slept soundlessly next to her – she considered with a pang that they were more her sisters than Petunia had ever been. Petunia had fled the Evans' household the very day that Lily had returned home from Hogwarts and headed to her boyfriend Vernon's place and Lily had seen very little of her since. Lily tried not to despair over the fact that their sibling relationship seemed to be broken beyond repair now – she sighed at the thought but her mood perked up when she remembered what day it was.

"Oh my god Marls! Tia! Wake up!"

"Go away Evans." Tia mumbled sleepily while Marlene made no movements at all.

Lil groaned and began to shake the girls in an attempt to rouse them. "Get up you guys we need to start getting ready, the boys will be here soon!"

"Aww does Princess Lily want to get pretty for Prince Jamesie?" Tia mocked poking Lily jovially from under the covers as she burrowed down deeper in an attempt to avoid Lily.

"Don't make me hex you Jones!" Lily warned springing out of bed and throwing open the curtains so sunshine streamed into the room. Lily blushed a little as she thought about James. James Potter had been the first boy who had gotten her little eleven year heart beating in frenzy and palms sweating. He had also however, been the first boy to make her blood boil as he relentlessly pursued her and made sure she never had a moment of peace. The past year however, he seemed to have matured and cleaned up his act and the two had grown close. James was always there to help Lily study, carry her books, dance with her at all the parties, make her laugh, take her on sneaky trips to the kitchens and cheer her up whenever she was feeling down. He had become something close to her best friend and she found herself craving his company more and more. It was a different kind of friendship than the one she had shared with Severus – it was easy, and fun but also something a little more than friendship. Lily could no longer deny the fact that she was hopelessly attracted to James, he was well over six foot now and no longer the scrawny child who used to spill pumpkin juice over her shirt at breakfast in the Great Hall. Years of Quidditch training had made him lean and muscular. Lily always marvelled at how well structured and chiselled his face was with his strong jaw line – he always seemed to be tanned, even in winter and his beautiful hazel eyes lit up every time he smiled. She tried not to think about the lack of letters from him this summer which was in stark contrast to previous summers when he would write to her several times regardless of whether she replied or not.

"Do you think James has a new girlfriend or something?" Lily blurted out.

"What?!" Marls and Tia said simultaneously.

"He hasn't written me all summer…" Lily bit her lip nervously, and then shrieked as Marls and Tia pounced on her and dragged her back into the bed and smothered her with the blankets and pillows.

"Lily Marie Evans, you know James has only got eyes for you!" Tia said as Lily hit her around her head with the pillow.

"And once he sees you today all dressed up, he is going to lose his shit!" Marlene giggled.

"It's nice to see you care though!"

"I do not!" Lily muttered indignantly, hot in the face.

"Oh really, so is that why he's going to be your escort to the Longbottom wedding?"

"He's not! We're all going together!" Lily argued fiercely, in reference to the friendship group they had developed which consisted of herself, Tia, Marlene, Remus, Sirius and James.

"Pfffttt. I'm going with Remus, Tia will obviously hook up with Sirius," Marls rolled her eyes at Tia who aimed a pillow at her, "so that leaves you and James."

* * *

After much more giggling and pillow fighting the girls finally were dragged out of bed by Lily and assisted in helping her clean her room aided by magic until it was spotless. They decided to go down and have breakfast with Lily's parents in the kitchen following the delicious smell of pancakes which had wafted up through the floorboards.

Lily was the first to enter the kitchen and was greeted much to her surprise by the familiar shout of, "Red!" and was engulfed in a bear hug by none other than Sirius Black.

"Black! What are you doing in my kitchen?" Lily laughed.

"Eating breakfast with your gorgeous mother of course!" he grinned and behind him Rose Evans blushed. Lily rolled her eyes at her mother and took a seat at the table as she watched Sirius hug Marlene and whisper something in Tia's ear which caused her to giggle and swat him on the arm.

"So really, what are you doing here? We're not supposed to be meeting until later," Marlene said as she dug into her breakfast.

"Moony and Prongs are coming down later, I came up earlier to scope the place out."

"Scope it out?" Lily said curiously.

"Oh, just precaution." Sirius muttered hastily without looking her in the eyes and engaged in conversation with Mrs Evans instead.

Mr Evans joined them for breakfast a few moments later and they all settled down to enjoy the wonderful spread that Mrs Evans had cooked up. They had a lovely time catching up and exchanging summer stories and talking about the exciting day they were to have. They had all been invited to the wedding of Frank Longbottom and Alice Prewett. Frank and Alice had been in the year above them at Hogwarts and all very close to them as they were fellow Gryffindors. They had graduated just in the last few months and were already on the fast track Auror Programme, and in a spur of the moment engagement had decided to tie the knot. Lily supposed that it was all down to them being Aurors and all the dark things happening in the wizarding world that had motivated the marriage but she couldn't help but be overjoyed for them – no two people deserved more to be happy. Eventually they all got up and helped Mrs Evans clear the kitchen and Sirius retreated to the living room to watch the television – something which he was fascinated by – and the girls headed upstairs to get ready.

"James Potter." Sirius spoke into the small mirror in his hand and almost instantly his reflection morphed into the face of his grinning best friend who looked up at him.

"Padfoot! How's my Lils?"

"Excellent. Looking radiant as ever I must say, are you sure we can't share?"

"Do you want to _die_ Padfoot?"

"Not particularly."

"Why aren't you with the girls?"

"They locked me out, said I couldn't come up with them." Sirius muttered bitterly, "I'm really bored now, can you guys make your way over?"

"I don't know, me and Moony are really enjoying the peace and quiet of the house without you."

"You know Prongs, Lily was half-naked at breakfast, and she was wearing these really tiny pyjama shorts and this vest…"

"I'm on my way."

James' face vanished from the mirror and Sirius assumed he was Apparating and sure enough the doorbell for the Evans' home went off. Sirius pulled the door open to let his two best friends in – James crossed the threshold beaming and looking around eager to take in the place that Lily had grown up in. The Evans' home was light, airy and spacious with panelled walls and high ceilings and sunlight streaming in through the French windows. The walls were adorned with family photographs and fresh flowers were dotted around the place – mainly lilies, petunias and roses. The floor was covered with thick carpeting and beautifully embroidered curtains hung from the windows. Every single surface that James' eyes fell upon was spotless and nothing was out of place – he got the impression that Mrs Evans was a rather house proud woman and he smiled as he thought that must be where Lily had learnt to be freakishly clean from.

"Paddy, having fun there?" Remus grinned as they followed him into the living room which was another beautifully decorated room with plush sofas and fluffy rugs and velvet cushions.

"Time of my life, Moony. Tell me again why Dumbledore chose _me_ to scope the place out."

"Because he trusts you. And he knew Jamesie would probably be too distracted with staring at Lily like a gormless idiot to be of any use."

"I resent that Moony. He didn't choose you because you'd be too busy snogging Marls' face off."

"Naturally." The boys laughed.

"So is today the day then?" Sirius said looking at James.

"Saturday? Yeah." James quipped back.

"Shut up you prat, you know what I mean."

"Are you finally going to tell Lily how you feel?"

"She's my best friend, I don't want to…"

"Ruin things? Prongsie the sexual tension between you guys is unreal, she's pretty much gagging for you to shag her already." Sirius said.

"Don't talk about her like that!" James shot a jinx at Sirius which he deflected lazily, and just then they heard the sounds of footsteps descending from the stairs and a lot of giggling. The boys jumped up and rushed out to the hallway to greet the girls.

Marlene was the first to descend, rushing forward enthusiastically and almost catapulting herself into Remus' arms to greet him. Her soft blond hair was elegantly twisted and tied in a golden mass on her head with a few tendrils falling across her face. Her blue eyes were accentuated by the dark mascara and glitter that framed them, and her cheeks were a beautiful rosy pink, made even more so by her happiness at seeing Remus. She was dressed in a floaty blue dress that cinched in at the waist and stopped just above her knees.

"Okay kids, that's enough break it up now." Sirius remarked as he grinned at the embracing pair.

"Put him down Marly, you don't know where he's been." James laughed. Next to him he heard Sirius wolf-whistle and looked up to see what his best mate was staring so intently at. Tia was now coming down the stairs.

"Close your mouth Black, you're catching flies." She remarked drily as she stepped off the staircase.

"Jones, I almost want to settle down for you, you look amazing." Sirius said as he grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. He took in her dark brown hair which fell down her back in a glistening waterfall, the way her lilac dress clung to her curves, complimenting her skin which looked golden and tanned, her full lips made to look even more delicious by the lip gloss she had on.

She grinned at him, "Who are you and what have you done with Sirius Black!"

He wrapped his arms around her waist and whispered something in her ear at which she giggled. James looked around at his friends who were all embracing and rolled his eyes. He was growing anxious at the thought of seeing Lily after all this time and just as he thought this, she appeared at the top of the stairs, and James suddenly found that breathing was not coming as easily to him as it usually did.

She looked ethereal; her hair was in silky waves which cascaded down her back, sparkling with the jewels that were embedded and intricately weaved in. Her face adorned with a light layer of makeup which made her rosy complexion and high cheekbones even more prominent. Her glittering emerald eyes were framed by her impossibly long eyelashes which today were covered with mascara. She was dressed in a floor-length, sleeveless forest green dress which clung to her upper body and flared out at the waist, falling in a fluffy cloud of gossamer and silk around her tiny delicate feet which were strapped up in gold heels.

She floated down the stairs, taking the hand he offered her and stood so close to him that he could see his reflection in her eyes. He was momentarily stunned.

"Erm, Lil.. Hi, erm…"

Lily giggled and James snapped out of his speechlessness and lifted her off her feet as he pulled her into a tight hug.

"Missed you Evans."

"Missed you too Potter."

"You look unreal."

She blushed as they broke apart from their embrace seemingly oblivious of the others who were now watching them interestedly.

"Thank you, you don't look too bad yourself." Lily smiled embarrassedly as she noticed how good he looked, his hair messy as ever, dressed up in a fitted Muggle suit towering over her.

"Well you know, had to make an effort for you."

"For Alice and Frank, you mean." Lily finally looked up at him, staring into his eyes. She wondered if he could hear how hard her heart was beating – she tried to avoid eye contact with James at most times, because his eyes had the ability to make her turn to jelly – but in this moment she could not resist.

"No. For you." He whispered so softly that only she could hear.

"Right then! We'll get going shall we? Portkey is ready." Remus beamed gesturing towards the empty plastic bottle that had appeared from seemingly nowhere and was now glowing with blue light.

"After you." James whispered into Lily's hair as she felt him press behind her as they both reached to place a finger on the Portkey and Lily felt absolutely certain that the pulling at her navel had absolutely nothing to do with the Portkey.


	2. the Longbottom Wedding

CHAPTER 2: THE LONGBOTTOM WEDDING

Alice and Frank's wedding was in a beautiful mansion that once belonged to Alice's great grandmother in Somerset. The house sat comfortably atop a hill with a stunning view of the rolling English countryside. It was decorated with heaps upon heaps of white roses and white gossamer ribbons and twinkling lights everywhere which upon closer inspection turned out to be actual real live fairies; it was as pretty as a picture. Alice and Frank had chosen to go with a Muggle dress code for the wedding, to spite Frank's mother, who was a very traditional witch, more than anything.

"Lil, do me a favour?" James whispered into Lily's ear; shivered when she realised how little space there was between them.

"Yeah?" Lily asked, looking him in the eyes, heart thudding. She cursed herself for letting him have this effect over her.

"Stay close to me." He said motioning to the two Aurors wearing stiff Muggle suits stationed at the doors.

"James, I've been in the Muggle world all summer long and I haven't had a clue at all of how bad things have gotten; Aurors at a wedding? What is happening? When I asked Sirius why you boys had to escort us he wouldn't tell me much, it's like he didn't want to scare me or something."

"Ah, Lil," James groaned, running his hand through his hair. "Okay, I'll tell you but only because I want you to be fully prepared if anything does happen today. But not here, let's get a drink and go into the garden where it's quieter."

James grabbed them both glasses of champagne and led her out to the garden which was breathtakingly beautiful. They sat down at a marble bench and James cast the _Muffliato_ spell so they wouldn't be overheard.

"I can feel things are different. Scarier somehow."

"The attacks are worsening, Muggleborns everywhere are being attacked because of their heritage. The Death Eaters are showing no remorse, Muggles are getting slaughtered every day and the Muggle government is in despair on how to deal with it. Voldemort wants a war, Lil. And it seems like he's going to get one." James said grimly.

"War?" Lily asked, astounded that things had gotten this bad. "How can I not know about this, I've been reading the Prophet every day for news and it said nothing about the situation escalating to this level?"

"The Prophet covers everything up, there's talk of Death Eaters having infiltrated the Ministry."

"How did You-Know-Who even gain so much support?"

"Well believe it or not, there's been talk of overthrowing the Muggles and coming out of hiding for years. Blood purity has always been an issue for Pure-Bloods. This kind of thing has been around a long time, it just took one person to stand up and start instilling fear in people for everybody to pay attention. Voldemort –"

"How can you say his name just like that?" Lily cut him off, shocked and a little impressed.

James grinned at how cute she looked, gaping at him and wanted to grab her face in his hands but resisted. "Dumbledore always says, 'fear of the name only increases fear of the thing itself'"

"Dumbledore is crazy."

James laughed in his infectious manner, and Lily beamed. She loved how they could go from having such a serious conversation to joking around like nothing had happened. That was the thing about James; he made her feel lighter, like no worry could affect her.

"Will you be honest with me?"

"I could never lie to you."

"You didn't write to me this summer. You write to me every summer, even when I don't reply. Why didn't you write?" Lily finally voiced what had been bugging her over the holiday.

"Miss me?" James said devilishly, raising his eyebrows at her.

"Shut up." Lily rolled her eyes.

"Don't get too freaked out. Me and Sirius were asked to join the Death Eaters, we refused. They haven't been happy with us since. They've kept a close eye on our house, watching and waiting. Mum's massively surprised we haven't been attacked yet. They've been intercepting our mail, and me and Sirius decided not to write to you. We knew you girls were in France over the summer and honestly you were safer there; we didn't want anyone tracing the owls back to you; Lil this is something I've been meaning to speak to you about, you are going to be a massive target."

Lily felt panic rise up in her throat. "What? Oh my God. So while I've been lying out in the sun all day with Tia and Marls, you've been under fucking siege! And I had the audacity to ask why you haven't been writing." Lily said covering her face with her hands.

"Hey, hey," James said wrapping his arms around her and pulling her into him. "Don't be silly, I love it when you get all possessive." He said cheekily.

Lily elbowed him, he pulled her closer still.

"This war isn't going to be easy and Lil, you're a Muggleborn. But you're also one of the brightest witches around," Lily's cheeks flushed with colour. "Voldemort will want you."

"Are you worried about me?" Lily asked, smiling in spite of herself.

"Nah, I know you can handle yourself." James said pride evident in his voice.

"Damn right."

James chuckled and pulled Lily up so they were both standing facing each other.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to you." James said, suddenly intense, his eyes boring into Lily's his hands wrapped firmly around hers.

Lily's heart was beating frantically as she whispered softly, "I know."

James looked at her with fire in his eyes; she had never looked this beautiful. Her hair was blowing behind her in the breeze, like brilliant eternal flames, and her eyes looked even greener in the sun. All he wanted to do was close the small space between them and press his lips to hers, and just as he was about to step closer, he heard a distant shout from the house,

"Prongs! Snog after, the ceremony is about to start!" Sirius waved them over.

"I..." Lily began, unsure of what she was going to say. Something had definitely just changed between them in that moment, Lily was sure of it. She couldn't fool herself that they were just friends any longer.

"We'll talk later," James twinkled down at her and offered her his arm, which she gratefully took as her legs were feeling quite weak after whatever it was that, had just transpired between them.

* * *

The ceremony was long, but beautiful. Frank and Alice both looked radiant, Frank in a tailored Muggle suit and Alice in a long simple white gown which glowed in the sunlight. Lily cheered and applauded along with everyone else as they got to have their first kiss as newlyweds and showered them with confetti as they floated down the aisle, bursting with happiness.

The reception was a joyous affair of great food, flowing drinks and dancing. Lily watched on fondly as Frank twirled Alice around the floor, while she laughed with sheer happiness. Everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves; James was on the dance floor with Sirius and Marlene, Tia and Remus were busy at the desserts table giggling over who could fit the most amount of mini macaroons into their mouth (Tia won), and Lily was at a table with Amos Diggory and Dorcas Meadowes, who had both graduated three years ago, talking about how much Hogwarts had changed.

"Well, they didn't have girls as beautiful as you in my day at Hogwarts, I'll say that for sure." His speech was slightly slurred since he was steadily working his way through a bottle of Firewhiskey by himself.

Lily peered at Diggory as she sipped from her drink, he was tall and burly with curly blond hair and a strong jaw. Lily supposed that most girls would have found him good looking, but Lily simply found him arrogant and she felt uncomfortable due to his constant gaze.

"Amos, stop slobbering over her, everyone knows that's Potter's girl." Dorcas said rolling her eyes at her friend.

Lily choked on her drink and flushed. This was something she had become accustomed to over the years, that James had some kind of a claim on her – most of Hogwarts' male population knew to stay away from Lily or face the wrath of the Marauders, but hearing it still astounded her sometimes. In the past, Lily would have probably fiercely argued and refused to be referred to as "Potter's Girl", but she now considered how much she didn't mind, in fact she almost revelled in it. Almost as if he knew she was thinking of him she felt a warm hand on the nape of her neck, making her shiver – she looked up into the eyes and immediately felt her stomach swoop. James was looking at her with his charming smile and she couldn't help but grin back.

James took a seat next to her, and under the table his fingers reached out for hers and they intertwined. He fell into easy conversation with Dorcas and Lily regarded him wondering how he could be so calm, while Lily herself was going crazy. She had butterflies in her stomach and her cheeks were flushed and her heart was beating. It was simply his presence that made her feel giddy like this, and she inwardly rolled her eyes and told herself to get a grip – they were just holding hands for Merlin's sake!

"Well before you interrupted Potter, I was actually about to ask your friend here if she would like to join me on the dancefloor, after all a gorgeous young thing like her shouldn't spend all night sat down." Amos said pompously as he straightened his tie and stared hungrily at Lily.

James' demeanour changed almost instantly. His smile dropped off his face, and his eyes hardened. He glared at Diggory so intensely that Lily felt she may have to cast a shield charm between the two.

"Erm thank you for the offer Amos, but I'm alright here thanks."

"Now really I…" Amos began looking affronted, before he was cut off by James.

"She said no." James' tone was biting.

"James. Dance with me. Now." Lily said firmly pulling him up and away from Amos who looked ready to curse James any second, Lily was not about to create a scene at her friend's wedding. She pulled James into the middle of the dance floor, out of sight from Amos.

"Should have let me hex him," James muttered into Lily's hair as they began to dance to a soft slow instrumental.

"He's just being a drunk idiot, not even worth it."

"Lil?"

"Yeah?"

"Did I tell you how absolutely incredible you look today?"

"Thank you," Lily breathed, "you don't look so bad yourself."

Lily could hardly breathe. Since their moment outside in the garden, they had been so caught up in the wedding that they hadn't got the chance to spend any time together, and when James had seen Amos leering over Lily at their table he had decided he couldn't bottle it any longer.

They moved around slowly, Lily's breathing shallow as she took in his heady addictive scent, she really thought she was going crazy, she didn't think she could ever feel so strongly about someone, she especially never thought that person would be James Pratty Potter. He led her around the dance floor and she was scared to look him in the eyes, scared that he would be able to see right through her.

"Lil," James breathed, "I want to speak to you, can we get out of here please?"

She nodded, so he led her out back to the spot in the garden they had occupied previously. It was dark out now, but the garden was entirely lit up by the golden light of the fairies, it was a magnificent sight.

"I hope my wedding is as beautiful as this one." Lily sighed dreamily, unconsciously resting her head on James' shoulder.

"Don't you worry; I'll make sure it is."

"Like you'll be invited!" Lily scoffed.

"I didn't think the groom needed an invitation to his own wedding." Lily laughed at this, and seeing her face light up with happiness made James want to be closer to her, so he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her flush against him.

She looked alarmed and said, "James..."

"Lily, let me talk I need you to hear this okay,"

"Okay", she replied in barely more than a whisper, she had never maintained eye contact with him for so long and it was making her lose her breath a little bit.

"I know I was a prat to you for most our time at Hogwarts and for the first few years I probably only lusted after you because you're so goddamn stunning. But these last two years have been different, I see that you're so much more than your looks; you're brilliantly smart, and compassionate and you care so deeply about everyone. And I can't pretend anymore Lil. This is more than just a schoolboy crush or whatever, I'm falling for you Lily Evans."

Lily's heartbeat was in pandemonium as James stared down at her, she was lost for words.

"Go out with me Evans?" James grinned, and that was enough; Lily reached up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips against his; he responded by kissing her back fervently, one hand around her waist, the other in her hair. Her hands were wrapped around his neck, and they kissed each other like that kiss had been what was missing from their lives until that point. James deepened the kiss with his tongue and Lily gasped into the kiss as it became more intense as, he wrapped himself round her more tightly; they broke apart for a second in which James sat down on the bench and pulled Lily onto his lap; she was now curled around him and they were kissing like they couldn't bear to stop. His lips were soft and inviting and the way his hands were holding her to him was enough to make Lily breathless when she finally pulled away, after what felt like an eternity but also no time at all.

"James, I need to..."

"Shh," James said as he pressed his lips to her neck and she groaned in frustration.

"No James, I need to talk now. Listen to me."

"Okay, I'm listening." James said as he adjusted Lily on his lap so she was sat upright but his hand was still curled around her thigh.

"I... I feel the same James, I really do. But..."

"But?" James said with alarm, snapping out of his lustful thoughts.

"I'm a Muggleborn James! I have Muggle parents, and you said yourself I'm going to be a target in this war. I don't want you to be in even more danger because of me, and I know that blood status doesn't matter to you, but it does to so many other people. And James, you're not just any pure-blood, you're a Potter. You guys are like Wizarding royalty, someone like me is not worthy of being with someone like you." Lily said, looking down to hide how her eyes were tearing up.

A stunned silence occurred for a moment before James broke it by saying in the angriest voice Lily had ever heard him use, "what the hell, Lily! How could you think that?"

"Because it's true! I am only going to bring you down, and I want nothing more than to be with you, but me and you just aren't going to work out."

"Don't do this Lil," James said as they both stood up feet apart and faced each other. James' head was spinning – how had things gone so wrong so quickly?

"I'm sorry James," sobbed Lily, making no attempt to conceal her tears now, which were flowing freely down her face.

James ached to comfort her but he was numb with shock - he couldn't move.

"I wish we could just run away from all this and be together, but this is reality Jamie," James flinched at the use of her old nickname for him.

"I don't give a fuck about reality. I want you and nothing else. I don't care about any of that other shit Lil!"

"But why don't you get it? I do! I care! You will not die trying to save me James Potter!"

"Lily, please..." James called after her, as she ran back towards the house her body racked with sobs. He watched as she entered the house again and disappeared into the crowd, he stood watching, feeling like all the breath had been taken out of him. He had just told her how he felt, she'd confessed to feeling the same and they'd shared the most sensational kiss. And then Lily broke down. He had never seen her that emotionally vulnerable, she was usually so calm and collected. He couldn't get his head around it.

And then suddenly, as if his worst nightmare was playing out in front of him, the house erupted with screams and explosions.

The house where Tia and Marls were.

The house where Alice and Frank were.

The house where Remus and Sirius were.

The house where Lily was.

And all James could do was stand from a distance and watch his body paralysed with shock. Until he didn't even realise what he was doing and began running at breakneck speed toward the house, wand drawn out and ready.


	3. The Awakening

CHAPTER 3: THE AWAKENING

It was like Lily had ceased to exist in the moment and was watching an epic tragedy play out in front of her while she stood rooted to the spot unable to move, she was paralysed. She had run away from James, her heaven and ran straight into what could only be described as hell. Tall figures in black shrouded hoods were appearing from thin air, and people were screaming in fright; spells were being cast left right and centre, in flurries of blinding light. Lily couldn't believe that exactly what James had been trying to protect her from had occurred, and now he was nowhere to be found, she hoped he had stayed in the garden where he was safe but she knew there was no way he was going to leave everyone to fend for themselves, he was too good...too noble. And just like that, the thought of him made Lily spring into action. She delved into the crowd, her wand out, deflecting any curses that came her way. In the distance she saw Sirius and Remus battling two hooded figures and she began to run towards them, until she was blocked by another Death Eater.

"Well, well... if it isn't golden girl Lily Evans herself," sneered the hooded figure.

The voice sounded oddly familiar to Lily. "Malfoy?" she choked out, her wand hand shaking as she gripped it tightly.

"You have blossomed quite a lot since I was last at Hogwarts," he leered down at her.

"Get out of my way." Lily said, unthinkingly trying to brush past him towards Sirius and Remus who looked like they were struggling now.

"How dare you, Mudblood! _Crucio_!"

Lily dodged the spell, her heart beating furiously, the adrenaline was pulsing through her body, and she could feel her magic emanating, making her feel as though she was protected by its energy. She shot a Stunning spell at him, that he managed to deflect and suddenly Lily found herself in the middle of a duel with a Death Eater. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Alice battling an unknown Death Eater and Lily's heart twisted at the thought of Alice having to withstand the horror of this attack on what was meant to be the best day of her life.

"Quite the little fighter, aren't you?" Lucius spat at her.

"Yeah well I've had to learn how to defend myself against bigoted pricks like you." Lily remarked, shooting curses at him furiously.

Malfoy growled, "Being Potter's little bitch has given you quite a lot of confidence, but let me assure you my dear, there is no way he'll be able to protect you from what's to come."

"And what is that exactly? More little stunts like these from you and your little gang of bullies?" Lily knew she was antagonising him, but she could not help herself. Malfoy was one of those people, who believed they were superior to everyone and everything, and this was something Lily couldn't stand, in spite of the fact that he was trying his utmost hardest to make sure she stopped breathing.

Malfoy laughed mirthlessly, "You should really consider joining this 'gang of bullies' as you so commonly put it. We don't really take Mudbloods but I suppose for one as feisty as you the Dark Lord will be willing to make an exception."

"I'd rather die." Lily said, resolute.

"Then die you shall."

Malfoy continued to shoot spell after spell at her and Lily struggled to cope, his magic was Dark and nothing like anything Lily had come across before, and just as she dodged a particularly nasty orange spell, she saw over Malfoy's head, something that made her lose her composure entirely – Remus being thrown against the wall by a furious Fenrir Greyback. Just that one moment of hesitation was enough for Malfoy to hit her with the Cruciatus Curse, and watch as she dropped to the floor like a ragdoll. Her eyes were wide in a frenzy of pain and Lucius loomed down upon her, his wand vibrating with the amount of energy it was exerting.

If Lily could have fathomed any words at that point she would have said how all she could think about was the excruciating pain, as it happened she writhed around on the floor unable to make any sound other than the blood curdling scream that came out of her as a result of the torture. It was sheer hell, she couldn't comprehend anything other than how much pain she was in and all she wanted was to die, so the pain could end. And then the pain eased and Lily lay on the ground, her body shaking as she mustered her depleting strength and shot a Stunning spell which he lazily cast aside, his eyes focused on a fast approaching figure behind Lily.

James Potter had never been someone who was easily frightened, he ran around with a werewolf once a month after all. He and the Marauders often laughed in the face of danger, defying every rule so they could continue with whatever shenanigan they were up to. James hadn't been afraid when his mum had found out about him sneaking out of Potter Manor with his dad's broom to fly around the Potter estate. James hadn't been afraid when his dad had caught Dragonpox when he was a First Year, and almost died. He hadn't been afraid when him and Moony had snuck into Grimmauld Place to rescue Padfoot in the summer of fourth year, and Padfoot's mum started throwing curses at himself and Moony when she caught them hiding in the linen cupboard upstairs. He hadn't been afraid when the Death Eaters had come calling and asked him and Sirius to join. The only occasion he had been truly afraid was when Sirius had told Snivellus to head into the Whomping Willow on the night of the full moon – not because he cared about Snape being hurt, but because he knew what it would do to Moony if he was ever to hurt anyone.

The fear he had felt then did not compare at all to the fear he felt right now as he ran towards the mansion, which now had a large green skull with a snake protruding from its mouth looming above it – the Dark Mark. His heart was in his mouth as he scanned the scene before him. It could only be described as a raging battle – all around him all he could see was devastation and duels. His heart was thudding as the blood pumping around his body felt spiked with adrenaline. A few Stunners came his way which he dodged as he ran into the crowd, he passed Marls and Tia who were duelling Mulciber. James shot a full body bind curse at him while his attention was taken up with fighting the girls, effectively winning them their duel. They turned around to see who their saviour was, at which James hastily choked out, "where's Lily?"

Marlene replied shakily, "I haven't seen her; we thought she was with you!"

"She was, and then… I lost her." The most dreadful feeling settled in his belly, as if he had just gone ten rounds with a Dementor. He was furious at himself for letting her run off like that, he should have fought harder to make her see his point of view, and showed her how much he adored her instead of yelling at her while she cried. Pangs of guilt plagued James as he thought about how he had never seen Lily Evans cry before, she wasn't one to cry, and she just got on with things. The only time he'd seen her close to crying was when she dated Roman Fortescue in Sixth Year, and he cheated on her with Tatiana Vane. She had emerged from her dorm room, her beautiful eyes lacking their usual sparkle and rimmed in red. That was the day James and Remus (Sirius and Peter were in detention with Filch) had earned themselves a month of detentions for jinxing Fortescue into vomiting large rats out of his mouth every time he opened his mouth to speak. Lily hadn't even been mad, she just hugged Remus and James and they played Exploding Snap for the rest of the evening. James's mind drifted to the kiss they had just shared and couldn't comprehend how quickly things had changed. He had to find her and make sure she was safe.

"Listen girls, I need you guys to get the hell out of here. There's a fireplace upstairs I think, we can Floo you out."

"No James, we're staying to help!"

"Marls, your parents are in Magical Law Enforcement! The Death Eaters are going to want you, you cannot be here!"

"I really don't give a fuck. I need to find Remus." Marlene said, her face set in a determined expression as James groaned in frustration.

"Don't worry Potter," Tia rolled her eyes. "We can handle ourselves."

"Don't-!" James yelled, grabbing Marlene as she tried to dart away from him. He pulled her into a sheltered cove and cast _Protego Maxima_ and _Muffliato_ around them. They were hidden from the fighting, but could still see what was going on.

"What the hell are you doing Potter? My boyfriend and best friend are out there and you want me to hide here like some little bitch?"

"Moony would kill me if he knew I let you just run into the fighting, and Tia you look like you can barely stand. What were you hit with?"

Tia slid down the wall, and curled into a tight ball on the floor, looking as though she'd been winded. The duel had taken its toll on her and really was, as James had pointed out, struggling to stand. "I don't really know. Mulciber is just an evil little shit."

"Fuck. I can't believe this is happening." James said, watching as Marlene sunk down to the floor with Tia, enveloping her in her arms. She looked James in the eyes.

"This is meant to be a warning, a demonstration of power almost by the Death Eaters, Dad said it's been on the cards for a long time, his spies at the Auror department have been saying how they've heard Death Eaters talking about an event called The Awakening, it's almost like they want to let the world know how deadly they are, and what better place to do so than at the wedding of two Aurors who also happen to be the biggest blood traitors about?"

"I knew something like this would be happening soon. Is Voldemort here?"

"According to Dad's sources he's abroad, and he knows that Dumbledore will turn up sooner or later, so I don't think so, but the Death Eaters are just here to announce their presence to the world. And to gain any possible recruits, and James even though Lily is Muggleborn, she's extremely talented at magic, and Voldemort will want to use her, they're going to be after her."

"Marls, I'm going to run out and find her, you two stay here." James said making his way back towards where the fighting was taking place.

"No way, we're coming with you!" Marlene said as she pulled Tia up and ran after him. James in the distance saw Lily's flaming red hair duelling fiercely with Malfoy. He began to run towards them, faster than his legs could carry him and stumbled as he watched the terrible scene play out before him: Lily collapsing to the floor like a lifeless rag doll, her limbs folding in on themselves as she shrieked in pain, writhing around on the floor. It was like all the volume from the room had been muted, and he couldn't hear the duels or screaming round him, all his hearing was tuned into was the horrific sound of Lily screaming in pain as she was tortured and James didn't think he had heard anything as awful. He ran towards them with blind rage and felt convinced that he would kill Malfoy, he would murder the man for hurting his Lily.

"Lily!" James said, his eyes burning from rage as he lifted her into his arms in one smooth motion from the floor and set her down, steadying her with one arm around her waist. She was still shaking, and this added to James' fury as he thought of how she had been tortured and there was nothing he could have done about it.

"Come to save your girl?" sneered Malfoy, wand out as he sized James up.

"My my, how sweet, ever the hero Potter!" Malfoy spat, and before James knew what was happening Malfoy started throwing hexes at him and James became involved in his first ever real duel, with a real Death Eater. Malfoy knew how to duel, and he definitely knew more deadly curses than James, but James was fuelled by the image of Lily rolling around in pain on the floor while she was being tortured, and her screams still rang in his ears making James wonder if he'd ever be able to forget that. James shot spell after spell at Malfoy and in his fury he became stronger and more confident and it was evident that Malfoy was struggling. James could feel his wand vibrating from the energy that it was currently exuberating and he felt feverish. At this point Lily had recuperated enough to join his side, sending spells of her own at Malfoy, and it wasn't long before he lay unconscious on the floor.

"Lil, we need to get out of here!" James said, grabbing her as he ushered her towards the fireplace, hoping they would be able to Floo out; he could see Sirius and Remus – who was sporting a very bloody gash on the side of his face – moving towards them and he gestured them towards the large fireplace. Just as they approached it, a figure stepped out from the emerald flames and James' breath got stuck as he realised who he was looking at – dark, heavy lidded eyes and masses of shiny black hair, and the most malicious smile – Bellatrix Lestrange stood in front of them, caressing her wand with her clawed hands.

"Leaving so soon? The fun's just started!" Bellatrix cackled.

" _Stupefy_!"Sirius shot at her, but she dodged and furiously shot back at him with a Cruiciatus Curse which he managed to spring away from just in time.

"Cousin! Is that any way to greet a family member?" Bellatrix sneered. She eyed the three Marauders and Lily up as if deliberating which one she should kill first.

"You're no family of mine. _Expelliarmus_!" Sirius cried.

"Filthy blood traitor!" Bellatrix spat, she deflected the curse and advanced upon them, sending endless torrents of deadly spells. Lily cast the strongest shield charm she could muster between Bellatrix and the three boys, but in her haste, didn't see the advancing figure who came up behind her pulled her by her hair towards the fireplace.

Lily screamed, "James!" the unknown figure pulled her towards the fireplace, whilst Bellatrix hit her with " _Petrificus Totalus_ " and Lily was unable to move, the only parts of her body which could move were her eyes that swivelled around in horror looking for James.

"No, no way!" James cried as he ran after them and hit the Death Eater who was dragging Lily with a stunning spell. James recognised him as Dolohov just as he saw that he had got him square in the back and James ran forwards as Sirius and Remus ran after him engaging Bellatrix in a duel. James performed the counter curse on Lily and she got up shakily, he tried to pull her towards the fireplace, still desperately trying to get her out of that wretched mansion, but Lily wasn't having any. She ran towards Sirius and Remus and joined in their battle with Bellatrix. James ran to join them, just as he saw Lily hit in the chest with a purple spell and his heart stopped. She seemed to carry on with the duel as if she was okay, but her movements were no longer fast and agile, they were sluggish almost. The duel was intense and Sirius and Remus' energy was fading fast, Lily's whole body was coming up with large abnormal purple bruises that blossomed over her white skin like flowers, and James wondered how much longer this could go on.

Just as this thought entered his mind, the ceiling shook and the ground trembled; a flash of golden light caught the attention of Bellatrix and James felt a thousand times lighter once he saw who had just arrived.

"Dumbledore!" James gasped as Bellatirx Disapparated, disappearing into thin air.

Dumbledore had arrived with Alastor Moody, the Prewett brothers and Edgar Bones, all of whom were Aurors. Upon their arrival, all the Death Eaters seemed to have Disapparated. A eerily quiet calm fell upon the scene. James looked around as he took in the damage that had been caused, and he felt physically sick as he saw that what was meant to be the happiest day of Alice and Frank's lives had turned into a catastrophe: Marlene was trying to wake an unconscious Tia and Moony ran to join her; Alice was crying quietly in the corner as she nursed Frank's wounds; Molly and Arthur Weasley were helping to get everyone off the floor as Professor McGonagall, who had been one of the wedding guests ran around trying to help all the wounded.

"Prongs! Prongs look at Lily." Sirius said as he caught Lily, who was about to collapse on the floor. Her eyes were hooded, and blood was spilling from her mouth, the red staining the front of her beautiful green dress.

James could feel nothing but fear as he pulled her into his arms. "Lil, Lily come on baby open your eyes," he said in desperation. Sirius called out to Dumbledore who came running assessing Lily over his half-moon spectacles – "Miss Evans had been cursed with some truly Dark magic; she needs to be taken to the hospital immediately." Dumbledore said making Portkeys one after the other for all the wounded to take to St Mungo's.

"Is she going to be okay?" Sirius asked, unable to take his eyes off Lily who was fading fast.

Dumbledore looked at the two boys as they held on to Lily, "I really cannot say, the way Dark magic works is unfathomable; all I can do is hope."


	4. The Aftermath

CHAPTER 4 – THE AFTERMATH

Sirius Black had always despised hospitals. From the very first occasion he had visited one, when after a particularly challenging Christmas dinner at Grimmauld Place at the mere age of four, him and Regulus had somehow managed to give each other reindeer antlers, he had known that St Mungo's was an evil place. It had none of the warmth of the Hogwarts Hospital Wing in which Sirius had spent many nights; it was cold and foreboding, and a place where he hoped he'd never be back. And yet here he was, holding on to the cold and clammy hand which belonged to Tia Jones, who was unconscious. Sirius had discovered her lying atop some fallen debris knocked out by what the Healers had informed him were three strong simultaneous Stunners right in the chest. The Healers so far had been unable to revive her, but they said her body needed to be given time to deal with the amount of forceful magic it had been hit with. She looked like a corpse almost, her hair splayed out around her, her face ghostly white. The only thing that reassured Sirius of her actually not being dead was seeing her chest fall and rise slowly. Sirius wanted nothing more than to just see her wake up and start cursing him for being a sap for holding her hand.

Tia had always been different from the other girls that Sirius had dated, she was hot and feisty, and never took any bullshit from Sirius. She was not someone he could whisper sweet nothings to and expect her to drop her knickers, she knew Sirius like no other girl, apart from Lily. Their past was complicated; chemistry existed between the two naturally and they were both too smart to ignore it, which had led to many excursions in broom cupboards and secluded corners in the Hogwarts castle from Fourth Year onwards. Sirius remembered how Tia had returned that year, glossy hair falling to her waist almost, her figure developing, skin tanned and glowing. He smiled at the thought of how after every crazy Gryffindor party they somehow seemed to end up in bed together. To the world it seemed like whatever transpired between the two was purely sexual, but there was something more between them, something they both ignored because it was easier to do so.

"How's she doing?" Moony flopped down in the chair next to Sirius and handed him a cup of coffee.

"Still no change. How's Lily?" Sirius asked, dreading the answer. The image of her covered in bruises and coughing blood flashed up in his mind, making him feel slightly nauseous.

"They said she's stable but still not awake. Prongs hasn't said a word."

"How did she look to you?"

"Like she'd been used as a punching bag by a troll."

Sirius winced, "If anything happens to her…"

"It won't. She's a fighter she'll be fine." Remus said with conviction. He could not bring himself to even think about the alternative.

"Why can't they figure out what's wrong with her?" Sirius spat with frustration.

"Dark magic, Padfoot."

"Bella did always have that talent."

"They're doing everything they can, it's just that that kind of magic is difficult to manage and even harder to be rid of once it's seeped into your body."

"I'm sick of this shit. All summer long these bastards have been plaguing us and now the girls as well."

"It's a war Padfoot, and this is just the beginning."

"Moons, are you okay? That little run-in with Greyback did not look fun."

"He was trying to recruit me for Voldemort's werewolf army. Things got ugly when I pointed out how I'd rather you know… shag a Hippogriff."

Sirius laughed openly for the first time that evening and clapped Remus on the back.

"You're probably the funniest wolf I know."

"I'm the _only_ wolf you know." Remus rolled his eyes.

"Where's Marls?" Sirius asked.

"She's gone home for a little bit with her family, they're all okay but badly shaken up."

Sirius sighed and leaned back in his chair, tilting his head so he was staring up at the bleak white ceiling; he contemplated how in a short matter of hours things had gone so tremendously wrong – Lily and Tia were unconscious, James and Remus badly injured and Marlene a nervous wreck. He mused over the ideas of possible future battles and what they would bring, for Sirius knew with certainty that this was just the beginning, and things were about to get a whole lot worse.

The boys sat in silence for an hour or so by Tia who had not so much as stirred, until the silence was broken by a tearful Marlene crashing into the room and into Remus's lap, as she flung her arms around him and began to sob uncontrollably.

"Marls, baby come on." Remus stroked her hair and whispered to her gently in an attempt to get her to calm down.

"Everything is wrong Remus, the Healers say that none of Lily's ailments are healing and James won't say a word and Alice and Frank are supposed to be on their way to their honeymoon but they're off on a Auror mission hunting those bastard Death Eaters. I c-can't take it," Marlene hiccoughed. "And why won't Tia wake up! What am I supposed to do?"

Sirius surveyed the young couple with pity – he had never seen the two look so lost, it was as if everything around them was chaotic but they were clinging to each other, anchoring each other. Sirius felt an unusual pang of jealousy as he allowed himself another glance at Tia, in that moment he would have given anything for her to be awake and telling Marlene to get a grip and that everything was going to be fine.

"I need to get some air." Sirius said jumping up from his seat as he inhaled sharply.

"Where are you going? Tia needs you." Marlene glared at him scathingly and Sirius almost withered under her glare.

"I know. That's why I have to do this." Sirius said with grim determination as he made for the door.

"Do what? What are you talking about?!" Marlene spat furiously.

"Marls, just let him go."

* * *

Sirius stood outside 13 Grimmauld Place looking up at the house he had grown up in with sheer distaste. This house was not his home, it hadn't been his home since the day he was sorted into Gryffindor that very first evening at Hogwarts. That was the day the Black family started to treat him like an outsider, and outcast – and he was more than happy to be one. Being a Black was more a curse than a blessing.

"You shouldn't be here. You're not welcome." A dark hooded figure had appeared next to him.

"Yeah well I had to see you didn't I little bro?" Sirius spat sardonically, as he looked upon his sixteen year old little brother who looked so much like him that they could have been identical twins. Regulus Black stared at his older brother.

"What do you want?"

"To know why you went after Tia."

"It wasn't me. And it was the McKinnon girl who was the target. Jones just got caught in the crossfire."

"So this is who are you now?" Sirius spat his face screwed up with disgust.

"I'm not one of them. Not y…"

"Yet? Not yet? Meaning you fully intend to be."

"Look I wasn't even supposed to be there tonight. But I was at Cissy's and Malfoy wanted me to string along just to watch."

"That is sick."

"I wanted to go just to make sure you were okay. I would never want anything to happen to you Sirius you have to know that."

"But my friends are fair game I suppose."

"What do you want me to do?" Regulus looked downcast and helpless.

"I want you to choose for yourself Reg!" Sirius yelled with frustration.

"The Dark Lord is immensely powerful Sirius, not someone to be crossed and he wants us Purebloods to finally come out of hiding and rule over Muggles, he has some crazy ideas I know but in the end don't we all want the same thing?"

"You really believe that don't you… I don't know who you are anymore." Sirius felt overwhelmed with emotion.

"Just run back to the Potters… while you still can." Regulus spat nastily, he had a sneer on his face that was usually reserved for when he was talking to those he considered lesser than himself.

"What exactly do you mean by that?" An intense rush of fury was running through Sirius causing him to advance upon Regulus menacingly.

Regulus drew his wand and pointed it at his brother. His face had twisted itself into a grimace.

"You know they're being targeted. You are too – for being blood traitors and going up against the Dark Lord." He spat the words with malice.

"Regulus… you are barely 16 years old, you have no business in this war." Sirius said in barely a whisper as his voice shook with the strain of keeping his cool.

"It's too late now, I'm in too deep." Suddenly his demeanour changed and all the hate and spite was gone and all Sirius could see was his little kid brother looking lost.

"Reg, I can help you. That's why I came to see you, you can come with me we can get away from all this!"

"How can we? They'll find me."

"Dumbledore and the Potters will help, I wouldn't let anything happen to you. You just have to leave all this behind. Make the right choice Reg." Sirius was almost pleading now.

"I've made my choice. Goodbye." Regulus looked up sadly at his brother and quickly pulled him into a swift hug that was over as fast as it had begun. "You should go, and in Hogwarts we shouldn't be seen speaking to each other."

"Reg…" Sirius made a desperate attempt to stop Regulus walking away, "Wait!"

"You're not welcome in the house, don't try to follow me." Regulus said his voice sounding defeated, he began to make his way up the steps towards number 13. Sirius watched him go with frustration, he did not want to accept that he had lost his only brother to the Death Eaters – Regulus was too young and too naïve. Growing up Regulus and Sirius had been close, until they both started Hogwarts and were sorted into different houses. James, Remus and Peter became his brothers and things between him and Regulus were never the same. However, the thought of Regulus being caught up in a fight that wasn't his… harming the people Sirius loved, becoming something that Sirius never thought he was capable of – it was all too much for Sirius. Sirius Black was not one to take himself too seriously but in the moment he felt like the weight of the world was placed upon his shoulders; his little brother was about to become a Death Eater and the only girl he had ever cared for was in a coma – he felt lost.

* * *

"I can't believe Sirius just left Tia like that." Marlene sniffed into Remus' shoulder.

"Cut him some slack Marly, he's no good with this stuff."

"It's not an excuse. Why are you defending him!" Marlene's head snapped up and she climbed out of Remus' arms and stood up, towering over his seated self, still in her high heels from the wedding.

"I'm not! Marl…"

"For some inexplicable reason that is entirely beyond me, Tia actually cares for Sirius and the least he could do is just be there for here in a time like this."

"He was. He is!" Remus spluttered in frustration. Marlene's eyes flashed as she glowered at Remus. "Marly listen, you're not yourself right now you've been through some crazy shit in the last few hours and this is just the fear and anger talking." Remus tried to reason with her.

"You're damn right I'm angry! Both of my best friends are literally at death's door right now and Sirius thinks it's okay to just swan off and do whatever he has to do, when it was his family that caused most of this mess!" She was seething now, her cheeks flushed with anger.

"You don't mean that." Remus said coldly. "Sirius is nothing like his family."

Marlene seemed to deflate in similar fashion to a popped balloon, it was as if all the energy from her body had been pulled out and the events of the day were finally catching up to her. She shut her eyes and sank down onto the chair that had been previously occupied by Sirius, and rested her head in her hands, her golden hair falling around her shoulders which shook with silent sobs. Remus approached her warily and kneeled down on the floor next to her, pressing his lips to the top of her head, as his fingers found hers and they intertwined.

"Marl, it's all going to be okay."

"I'm sorry Remus; I didn't mean any of that I was just angry."

"I know."

"I can't bear this. How much longer can this go on?"

"Honestly baby, I think it's just the beginning."


	5. The Long Night

CHAPTER 5: THE LONG NIGHT

Lily woke startled and disoriented, her forehead was sweaty and her breathing shallow. Her head was swimming with the remnants of the nightmare that she had just suffered from – always the same nightmare: the attack on Alice and Frank's wedding, watching her friends duel, the cold high-pitched cackle of Bellatrix Lestrange as she shot deadly spell after deadly spell… and seeing James fall to the floor lifeless. Lily gulped and sat up in her bed pulling the sheets around her. It had been a week since she had left St Mungo's and been brought home by her parents. There wasn't much she remembered about her visit to the hospital, she had to really stretch her memory to pull the pieces together; she had woken up to see James by her side, his face pained and looking like he hadn't slept in days. Dumbledore had been there too explaining that she was recovering from some serious Dark Magic which had seeped into her bloodstream. She remembered the constant pain and potions which made her feel groggy and sleepy. She remembered how her parents had turned up looking ghostly white and cried by her bedside and insisted she come home with them instead of spending the rest of her holiday staying at the McKinnon's as she had originally planned to do. But most of all she remembered how throughout it all James had not let go of her hand for a split second, how he would sneak in to her hospital room after curfew with his pockets full of her favourite Honeydukes chocolate even though most of the time she was drowsy and out of it, how when her parents had come to take her home on the day she was finally discharged, he had pressed a chaste kiss with his impossibly soft lips on her own and whispered goodbye. Lily shivered at the thought.

Her mind these days seemed to be consumed with thoughts of him, more so than ever. It was a strange thing Lily noted, to have her thoughts monopolized by just one person in such a way when there was so much else going on in the world. She had never in her seventeen years of age felt what she was feeling right now about _anyone_. James Potter had confessed his feelings for her, had kissed her in a way she had never been kissed before, risked his life to save hers and been her unwavering pillar of support as she recovered from whatever in hell Bellatrix had hit her with. Lily knew that she had been harbouring a crush for James since sixth year but this went way beyond that. Lily was smart enough to know that whatever she was feeling for James went way beyond a crush… it was something else entirely. She craved to be around him, to be surrounded by his heady scent, the warmth of his arms, the feeling of belonging that he gave her… the feeling of home.

She fell back into her pillows and knew that she was far too awake and alert now to be able to fall asleep again, so she rose from her bed stumbling in the dark until she found her dressing gown and wrapped it tightly around herself. She then grabbed her wand and Apparated out of her parents' home in Surrey, all the way to Scotland where the McKinnon family home was situated. It wasn't that she didn't love being home for the holidays, but since the attack her parents had been treating her like she was fragile and she felt suffocated and cut off from the Wizarding world. She had been sneakily visiting Marlene every day when her parents were in bed as she knew it would upset them, they were under the impression - rightly so – that the wizarding world just wasn't safe for Lily.

Lily was let into the gargantuan mansion by one of the house elves and she ran up the sweeping staircase to the left wing which was occupied by Marlene and her sister Marianne. She slipped into Marlene's bedroom and fell into her four-poster bed in which Marlene was snoozing quite peacefully. Lily nudged her until she woke and rolled her eyes at Lily before throwing the duvet over her and they both snuggled down under the covers.

"Are you ever going to visit me in the daytime Evans?"

"Sorry… couldn't sleep."

"The nightmare again?" Marlene asked knowingly.

"The very same one."

"Why don't you whip up some dreamless sleep potion, being the potions whiz that you are?"

"I don't have those ingredients, Sev always did though…" Lily trailed off, her thoughts falling on the one person she least liked thinking about.

"Eww no, we are not talking about that creep. If you're not going to let me sleep, shall we get up and do something?"

"What do you propose we do at 3am in the morning?" Lily laughed.

"We could go over to James', give him a nice little surprise." Marlene giggled wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at Lily.

"Erm no. Let's not do that." Lily felt her face grow warmer and thanked her lucky stars that it was dark in the room so Marlene could not see her blush.

"Lils why?! He's asked about you every single time I've seen him this past week!"

"Really, so why hasn't he been in touch?" Lily asked finally voicing the thought that had been irking her for the past week since she had left the hospital. She had not received a single piece of correspondence from James at all.

"Maybe he's just trying to give you space."

"Maybe. But we are not going over there! It's 3am that is totally unreasonable."

"You are no fun."

"Why don't we sneak into Mungo's and visit T?"

"Now you're talking!" Marlene exclaimed, suddenly wide awake as she jumped out of bed and pulled her long blond hair into a ponytail. "Right, on your feet Evans!"

Lily laughed and grabbed Marlene's hand as they ran for the fireplace in the drawing room. This had become something of a nightly routine for Lily and Tia; Lily's parents wanted her to stay well away from the Wizarding World and Marlene's parents didn't want her being seen in public places such as St Mungo's after their family was so brutally targeted in the attack – hence Marlene and Lily snuck in to St Mungo's whenever they could, using the McKinnon fireplace which was authorised to go pretty much anywhere. Tia had been in the hospital for almost two weeks now, slowly but surely recovering from the attack. The floo journey was short and nauseating and when the two girls fell out, quite ungracefully, from the fireplace they had to stumble around for a few moments until they regained their footing.

"Okay let's go." Lily said indicating towards the oak double doors through which Tia's ward was. They crept stealthily towards it, trying to be silent as possible. This proved difficult however, as the girls stumbled in the dark, bumping into each other and giggling as they ducked and hid whenever they thought a Healer was passing by. By the time they burst into Tia's hospital room they were bursting with uncontrollable laughter, faces flushed. Tia however was not alone.

She was sat up in bed, holding playing cards in her hand, and sat around her were the Marauders. Sirius, Remus, Peter and James were clustered around Tia's bed engaged in what seemed to be some sort of Muggle card game. They all stared and exclaimed at the sight of Lily and Marlene.

"Red!" Sirius grinned, as he jumped up and bounded over to Lily pulling her into a big bear hug. Marlene had already squealed excitedly at the sight of Remus, running to greet him before she collapsed into the bed with Tia, throwing her arms around her best friend. Lily hugged Sirius back enthusiastically, before she went to join the girls. Marlene and Lily had sandwiched Tia in the bed as they gathered around her smothering her with kisses and cuddles, the way they always did when they visited her.

"T, I miss you!" Lily sighed. "Summer is not the same without you."

"Tell me about it, being stuck in this awful place has definitely not been the highlight of my summer."

"That beach in the South of France was mine." Marlene reminisced as she lounged back on the bed.

"Pierre was Lily's." Tia said glancing slyly at Lily.

"No he was not!" Lily squealed in protest.

"Oh my gosh Pierre! He was _obsessed_ with you!" Marlene giggled.

"Who's Pierre?" James asked. Lily froze. In her excitement to see Tia she had forgotten that James was in the room also, it had entirely slipped her mind that this was the first time she was seeing him since she had been in hospital. She suddenly became very aware of the fact that her dressing gown had untied itself and she was wearing very little clothing underneath, not to mention the fact that she had bedhead and no makeup on. It was the first time he had spoken and she felt nervous for no reason.

"I just said didn't I? He was the highlight of Lily's summer."

"Really?" James asked, looking dead into Lily's eyes so intensely that she dropped her gaze and looked away, flustered.

"No, of course not. He was just some boy who came to speak to us on the beach –"

"Came to speak to _you_ , you mean." Marlene interrupted.

"Shut it you. Tia and Marlene just thought it would be hilarious to tell him how in love with him I was – even though I _wasn't_ \- and have him follow me around all the bloody time."

"Hmmm. Interesting." James remarked, still staring intensely at Lily who was trying her utmost hardest to look anywhere but at him.

"Is that jealousy I detect in your voice Prongs?" Sirius grinned from the other side of the bed.

"Prongs? Jealous? Never that." Peter said, while James sent over a tickling jinx towards Sirius, who casually deflected it.

"I think Prongs's jealousy has made for some rather epic pranks." Remus remarked. "Remember the time John Spinnet asked Lily to Hogsmeade and we hexed him into tap dancing everywhere, and he tap danced right into the black lake." The boys chuckled while Lily rolled her eyes.

"What are you guys even doing here at this time?" Lily frowned.

"Well Tia owled to say how out of her mind bored she was this afternoon and I've been here ever since. The rest of the lads came down a few hours ago when they could no longer stand my absence. Why are _you_ here at this time?" Sirius questioned.

"We always come at this time."

"Oh right yeah, Tia told me your parents had you on lockdown."

"They're just worried and paranoid right now. It'll blow over."

"It better, we're about to go into our seventh year and we need to go shopping for all the parties we are going to have." Marlene said.

The talk turned to the upcoming Seventh Year which would be their last at Hogwarts. They spent the early hours of the morning talking about the year they were going to have, planning all the pranks the Marauders would inevitably carry out, playing Muggle card games and eating the stash of chocolate Tia had been sent. It was one of those times wherein you aren't really doing all that much but somehow ends up being the best time ever, simply because of who you are with. Lily sighed with contentment as she looked around at her friends and felt more grateful than ever that she was surrounded by the most amazing people. Caught up in her thoughts, she caught James' eye. They silently stared at each other until James suddenly jumped up and grabbed Lily's hand.

"It's getting really early; we should get out of here before someone catches us." James said pulling Lily out of the bed and onto her feet.

Everyone seemed to snap out of the relaxed state they had been in for the last few hours as they realised that he was right: it was bright and sunny outside and the usual hustle and bustle of the hospital had started up, it wouldn't be long until a Healer came to check up on Tia. Everyone jumped up and said hurried goodbyes to Tia who looked crestfallen at the news of their departure. They crept out of the hospital room realising that Flooing out would be impossible now as there were far too many people about and the fireplace was for hospital officials only (Marlene's mother was a great beneficiary of the hospital). They used the back stairs to sneak out of the hospital and into Muggle London, Lily's hand clutched tightly in James' all the way throughout.

"Right well I'm taking Remus with me. Sorry boys." Marlene said; she and Remus were wrapped around each other and grinning. Lily wanted to laugh and roll her eyes at how disgustingly loved up they were, but she persisted as in that moment she had various other things occupying her mind. For instance, how she was stood on a busy street in Muggle London wearing very little clothing and her fluffy white bedroom slippers, with her hand intertwined in James'.

"We don't want him anyways." Sirius said, yawning. "I am knackered, think I'm going to head home and get in a few hours. Coming Prongs?"

"I'll meet you there. I'm taking Lily home."

* * *

James Potter stood outside the Evans's family home staring down at Lily's tiny frame trying to pull himself together. His mind was all over the place, there was so much he wanted to say to her, and yet somehow he was wondering whether it was just better left unsaid. The last few days without seeing Lily or speaking to her had been difficult, but his resolve had been strong. Speaking to her or seeing her would just make things more confused and complicated for the both of them and they both needed time and space to figure out how to proceed so James had kept his distance. And then she had fell into Tia's hospital room, looking she had just stepped out of one of James' dreams, and that was it – his resolve crumbled and he stood outside her house, looking down at her, wondering whether it would be rude to just grab her and kiss her breathless there and then.

"So…" Lily began.

"So." James said, dreading the moment she would say goodbye and disappear into her house. Then she said something which shocked him.

"Do you want to come in?"

"What?" He stammered, trying to comprehend whether he was hallucinating in his sleep-deprived state or whether Lily Evans had just invited him into her home.

"Do. You. Want. To. Come. In." Lily sounded it out, grinning cheekily. James grinned back down at her.

"I would love to."

"Alright then, you'll have to be quiet, everyone is still asleep and I'm not supposed to be out."

"I assume you're not really supposed to have a boy in your house in the early hours of the morning either."

"Yeah, that too."

James chuckled and followed her into her house, taking care to be as quiet as possible. He tried his utmost hardest to not focus on the way her hips swayed when she walked in front of him, concentrating so hard that he did not notice when she led him straight upstairs and into her bedroom. It was like she was the Pied Piper and he was following her blindly, under her spell. Lily's bedroom was large and airy. The walls were a soft ocean blue and accompanied with the sandy wooden flooring, it reminded James of being on a beach. The furniture was white, and the bed was covered with white silk sheets and a fluffy white throw. James stood awkwardly in the room not quite knowing what to do – he started to wander around the room taking in the small details of Lily's room as she watched him with interest. He noticed the vase of fresh lilies which stood on her dresser; the makeup that was neatly organised; her bookshelf in which the books were placed in alphabetical order; the fluffy white rug on the floor which had not a speck of dirt on it; the photos of her and her friends which were pinned up on a cork board above her desk. He noticed with a start that he was actually in a few of these photos. One of these photos was of him and the rest of the Marauders sat alongside Tia and Marlene near a tree by the Black Lake on a summer's day last year. It had been taken on Lily's Muggle camera. The only magical photo there was, was of him and Lily – it was after Gryffindor had won the Quidditch Cup last year and James stood grinning in is scarlet and gold Quidditch robes with his arm around Lily who was sporting one of Sirius' old Gryffindor jersey's and laughing up at James and looking like the happiest girl alive. James' heart soared.

"Do you think I could have this picture?"

"What? Why?"

"I really like it."

"I could make you a copy I suppose. My turn to ask a question."

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing all the way over there?"

James turned around so fast he thought he was going to get whiplash. He gulped when he saw her sitting on the edge of the bed. She had discarded her dressing gown and sat with her legs crossed. She was wearing a little silk camisole edged with lace and matching shorts. James could see so much of her milky white skin he thought he was never going to be able to look away, and he felt the familiar sense of arousal as he fought to control his hormones. He walked over to her slowly, and perched next to her on the edge of the bed, hands in his pockets.

"Why haven't you been in touch?" Lily asked.

James sighed, faced with that one question he did not want to answer. "I didn't want my owls to be monitored and led back to you. And I thought you needed some space. What you said at the wedding, before everything happened…"

"I was wrong." Lily said, as she stood up and came to stand between James's legs, his hands automatically coming up to hold her hips. He looked up at her, heart beating erratically. She looked like a goddess staring down at him, auburn hair cascading around her frame, rumpled and glorious falling to her waist, her eyes glimmering emerald pools of intensity.

"We should be together James; I want us to be together."

"Lily." He breathed, unbelieving of what was happening right now. He wanted to take a moment and gather his thoughts and explain to her how he more than anything wanted that too but in their present climate it just wasn't going to be possible and they needed to think about all the other implications. He didn't get a chance to say any of this however, as at that very moment Lily leaned down and pressed her lips to his, wrapping her arms around his neck like it was the most natural thing in the world, and he was gone.

He kissed her back with a sudden ferocity, the palms of his hands cupping her face as their lips danced in perfect harmony together. All of the hesitancy and nervousness James had felt before had evaporated and all that mattered to him was that he never stopped kissing her; the exhilarating feeling was consuming him. Their lips still attached, Lily climbed onto James's lap, wrapping her legs around his waist, as his arms came around her to encircle her entirely. James made her gasp, when his tongue slipped into her mouth.

She was fire. She consumed him. She was everything.

Lily's hands were everywhere: around his neck, trailing gently across his face, tugging at his hair, pulling at his shirt. Her teeth nibbled at his bottom lip and James growled, as he stood up with her still wrapped tightly around him and fell back into the bed, her back hitting the sheets as she adjusted to the delicious weight of him being on top of her. His lips kissed hers softly, once, twice and three times before trailing across her face, licking her jawline and leaving wet kisses all down her neck, feeling like he was going to implode simply from hearing her moan. James had been with other girls before and was no stranger to this kind of situation, but this time around it was so different. Lily was far better than he could have ever imagined even in his wildest dreams. He had never felt so aroused, so desperate for anyone's touch, so completely immersed in a person as he was with Lily in that moment. His lips went back searching hers again and when they met Lily breathed, "James."

He rested above her, looking into her eyes and felt a desire so strong he ached from it. But this was wrong, they were in her parents' house and she had just got out of hospital, and there were so many obstacles in their way. James, as if snapping out of a trance, stood up and backed away from the bed.

"What are you doing?" Lily asked, looking hurt.

"We can't do this." James tried to compose himself, tried not to focus on how Lily's camisole had ridden up, revealing her toned stomach, or how one of the straps had slipped down.

"I thought you wanted this."

"I do. I did. I… Lily, we can't be together."

James tried to decipher the emotions that were going across Lily's face right now: confusion, betrayal, anger, and then finally pain. James' heart sank to his stomach.

"What?"

"I… err…" James was speechless. "I don't think me and you will work. I think it's best if we just stay friends."

"Friends? Do you kiss all your friends like that?" Lily was stunned.

"No, Lily this was a mistake." James was cursing himself. How had he allowed the situation to escalate this far, he had promised himself he would stay away from her and he had ended up in her bedroom.

"Mistake?"

"Lily, I'm sorry I should go."

"What the actual fuck James? You tell me you're falling for me at the wedding; you kiss me like you want me, save my fucking life, stay with me in the hospital and now you're telling me it was all a mistake?" Lily's eyes were blazing with fire.

"I have to go."

"Don't you dare walk away from me Potter." Lily was furious. She cast a Silencing Charm around her room, in order to not wake her family, preparing to unleash her wrath on the boy standing in front of her.

"Lily, I'm no good for you. I have to go. Where's my wand?" James said feeling around in the scrambled sheets looking for his wand, desperate to get out.

"Look at me." She grabbed his hand, pulled him down to sit next to her, and tried to control her trembling voice as she looked into his eyes and asked simply, "explain".

James sighed, running his hand through his hair in that familiar gesture Lily had come to love.

"It's not a good idea for us to be together. There's a war going on, and you've already been targeted. I can't…"

"It's because I'm Muggleborn isn't it. A Mudblood."

James stood up in fury, "don't call yourself that!" he shouted.

"Why not? It's what I am." Lily said, standing up too, squaring up to him.

"Do you understand that us being together will make you even more of a target?" James spat.

"Do you understand that I don't give a shit?"

"Well that's not what you were saying the other day at the wedding…"

"Fuck that! I've said I was wrong and I know what I want. But clearly I'm just not Pure-blooded enough for you."

James' head was thumping and his body was overtaken with adrenaline and rage. "How the fuck can you say that to me?"

"It's what you're saying to me. You either want me, James or you don't."

"Of course I do, I've wanted you since we were eleven fucking years old Lily."

"So what the fuck is this game you're playing?" Lily was shouting, her cheeks flushed, her breathing heavy. It always seemed to go from one extreme to another with them. One minute they were wrapped around each other, the next minute screaming at one another. "Do you think you can just pick me up and drop me whenever you like? Anytime you fancy a snog?"

"It's not like that and you know it. Bottom line Lily, you almost fucking _died_ and I wasn't able to do a damn thing. That is _never_ happening again."

"I'm a big girl I can look after myself!"

"You were on your fucking deathbed, covered in bruises and coughing up blood! All because you decided to jump in a duel with me and Sirius and I couldn't do a thing to protect you!" James was shaking now. He grabbed Lily by the waist and she was almost frightened by his intensity, his strength, the way he towered over her. She had never felt so less in control in her life. He changed the volume of his voice from shouting to whispering softly to her, as he looked into her eyes. "This is done, Lily. Me and you are done."

Lily stared back at him in stunned silence. When he lifted her up gently, bridal style, she let him, resting in his arms like a limp rag doll. He carried her to the bed and tucked her in, smoothing out the sheets and wrapping the duvet around her.

"Goodbye, Lily." James went to press a kiss to her forehead, but she snapped out of her frozen state and turned away from him, muttering words that made James feel like he was being stabbed repeatedly in the chest: "Don't ever touch me again Potter."

He looked at her one final time, noticing the tears that were spilling out of her eyes and seeping into her pillow. He tried to swallow the lump in his throat and Disapparated.


End file.
